You see, my mother did her grocery shopping at this place called Laneco. I don't know if Laneco exists anymore, but I do know I loved sitting in the shopping cart as my mom wheeled it around the store. There was just something magical about Laneco. It was also the home of Jiffy Blueberry Muffin Mix (not to be mistaken for Jiff Peanut butter). Oh, Jiffy--the glorious saint of the most uh-mazing blueberry pancakes ever. See, Jiffy didn't use just any blueberries. Jiffy used fake blueberries composed of some blueberry flavoring, a little artificial blue dye, and 99% sugar. Absolutely wonderful.
Then one fateful day, Laneco shut down. My house was in chaos when my brothers and I realized what that meant for our Jiffy pancakes consumption:
No. More. Pancakes.
But you, dear reader, say, "How can you not eat anymore pancakes for the rest of your life?" (I guess if you don't like pancakes you wouldn't actually say that, but roll with it.)
And I would answer, "Of course we ate pancakes. Who wouldn't? But they weren't Jiffy pancakes, the god of all fake-blueberried pancakes." So there was great mourning in all the household.
My family went without Jiffy for several years. That was, until I stumbled upon a box hidden in the depth of Wal-Mart. How such evilness can house such deliciousness, I have no idea. But it was there. Oh, never was there such rejoicing in my house. Well, actually, my mom was kind of like, "Is that really Jiffy mix? I haven't seen that in ages. Could you put it in the pantry next to the cake mixes?" But I was pretty excited about my discovery. So excited, in fact, that the same box resides in my cupboard at school. Still unopened.
So, I really haven't been able to enjoy one of my fondest childhood memories but there is a great comfort in knowing that, should the nostalgic desire to revisit my childhood arises, I have Jiffy on hand.
And what does this have to do with starting a blog? I have no idea.
